So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
