this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she smelled like a LAN party
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
