You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
