i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
