I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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