I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have already put on my inside pants.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
