i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
