Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
