Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
