she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
