I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
