Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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