Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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