I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
