His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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