This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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