Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
