There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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