I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
