you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize