my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
