Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
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