Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
