we have pet lesbian snakes
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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