dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She even gives head with a lisp.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
