What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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