Plan B is the new Plan A
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
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I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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