I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
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