they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Randomize
