im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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