sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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