I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
