doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
