Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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