the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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