So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i dont even know how to be here
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
