...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
