just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I don't think brook has ever known best
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
