Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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