I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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