Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
