He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
