I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
