2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
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Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
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I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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