We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
