but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
