hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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