We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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