im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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