yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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