It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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