Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
It was confusing and full of hummus
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
