I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
