I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
