Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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