i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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