I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
