i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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