If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
