id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
