I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
