CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i've created a new STD.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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